If today were my last day

I got lost in the internet the other day and ended up stumbling upon an article that had a list of topics to talk about with a group of strangers. One of the things on the list was what you would do if you only had one day left to live. I was taken aback when I read that and I started thinking about what I would do. It’s kind of a morbid thing, right? Because most of us look at death as such a scary thing so the day leading up to it is very nerve-wracking to think about. My palms actually started sweating as I was thinking about it. As a control freak, OCD, type A person, I fear death because I fear losing control. I fear the unknown, the unplanned. But, I love a good challenge and I knew this topic would get me out of my comfort zone.

My first thought was that I would spend the day surrounded with family. Then I thought I would go to NYC and explore my favorite city and see a Broadway show. But, after awhile of stewing on this I realized I would get in the car with Shaun and just start driving. That’s my favorite thing to do in the world and it brings me so much happiness. I would start driving west and listen to my favorite music and hold Shaun’s hand. With Ri in my lap.

I honestly feel like I live my life exactly how I want to so I always feel fulfilled. I don’t think I would have the urge to do anything major or any real regrets of things I didn’t do. Of course that would be some pretty awful news to hear but I try to live my life each day knowing that at some point that last day will be here.

After really thinking about this topic and coming up with my answer, I thought…isn’t that what life is all about? Living in the moment, living for now, but also knowing the next moment isn’t promised? They say we don’t appreciate a moment until it becomes a memory, which I think is true. But what if we can change that? What if we start loving each day of our lives instead of just our vacations? What if we enjoy drinking our morning coffee just as much as we enjoy going to see our favorite musician live?

What if we get the same rush from holding our partner’s hand as we do when we go on a roller coaster? So, I urge you to start appreciating these little moments. Cry in the darkness of the movie theatre when a scene touches your heart. Call your mom and tell her you love her. For no reason. Give your pet way too many treats. Dance in the kitchen while you’re making dinner. Enjoy each moment. Make the little things the big things.

I guess that’s a very complicated answer but it’s a very complicated question which led me to a very simple discovery. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Go out and enjoy it. Even when it’s unenjoyable, it’s better than the alternative.

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