Did you know that 80% of resolutions are broken by February? That’s why I, typically, set my intentions for the year, instead of listing all of the things I’d like to change about myself or better about myself. Last week I was asked what my word for 2021 was going to be and I said, “success”. I’d like to be successful in everything that I do.
For me, 2020 felt a lot like failure. I *felt like* I failed at my relationship. I failed at my job. I failed at my workout routines. Sure, the world wasn’t exactly set up for our success last year, so I’m not being too hard on myself. But, 2021 will be different for me. I will be successful and intentional in the things that I do. So, here’s my list.
1) Stop feeling guilty
This year I’m going to stop putting pressure on myself to make everyone around me happy and successful. And I’m not going to feel guilty for that. You know how on an airplane they tell you to always put your own mask on first, before helping others, in case of an emergency? Yeah, same thing. How can I help anyone, love anyone, support anyone, better anyone, if I’m not okay myself? For years my head has barely been above water, but I was trying to save others who were drowning. I’m going to allow myself to accept love and feel genuine happiness, without a second thought of who will I upset or who will this hurt. I’m going to eat frozen yogurt with 17 pounds of sprinkles without shaming myself and forcing myself to eat plain lettuce for the rest of the day. I am going to take the time to call someone back if I don’t have the mental capacity for it at the moment, because protecting my inner peace is what’s most important.
2) Take more videos
You would think I have a thousand videos per month of my life because of how many photos I take (and it’s my job), but I don’t. I don’t have any videos of my every day life or the “in between” moments. I don’t want to show people the glam, the edited, the curated. I want to show people the real, the raw, and the unplanned. Even if I don’t end up sharing everything, I want to be able to look back on more than just photos of my outfit.
3) Keep my circle in check
I lost a couple friends this year, and I use that term loosely. I feel like I was always their friend, but they were only mine when it was convenient for them. The moment it became inconvenient or they realized that the path I was walking at the moment was a little steep, they disappeared. Moving forward, I won’t allow that to happen. I also had a few people reappear into my life, during my most difficult time. They had no expectations, they had no resentment – only open arms and support to offer. For years I allowed to receive less than I gave (in all of my relationships) because I thought it was normal. Well, the harsh truth that I learned this year is, it’s not.
4) Combine my passion and my gift
Steve Harvey talks a lot about this. The video below is one of my favorite videos of his.
In short, everyone is given a gift. It’s what you’re best at, naturally. It’s up to you to find out what that gift is, and to use it. I’m still working on identifying mine, but when I do, I hope it’s something I’m passionate about. At the end of the day, that’s what I believe makes you the most successful. Finding something you’re passionate about, or better yet, your gift, and finding a way to monetize it.
5) Go with the flow
I am a notorious planner. I am a Type A, crazy, planning psycho. I have a plan for everything. My days are planned out by the hour and without a plan, I feel useless. 2020 saw that, and raised it. It laughed in my face. A plan? HA. Here I was, strolling along in life, thinking I had a plan, and turns out, that plan sucked. The plan The Universe had in store for me was much greater. It took a lot out of me to just go with the flow but what is the other option? I’m learning that the more plans I make for myself, the more disappointed I end up feeling. I thought I’d be at a different place in life by 30 but with 30 quickly approaching, I realize I’m right where I’m meant to be. This year, I’m going to accept whatever is meant for me, when it is meant for me, with arms wide open. I won’t lower the expectations I have for myself, but I’ll be more willing to have my plans change.
I’d love to hear what your intentions are for this year if you care to share in the comments!